036 – Fredrick vs. Alice

Fredrick vs. Alice
by Thedude3445

As most stories such as this start out, Fredrick and Alice were a happy couple. They met at a Barnes & Noble, both searching for some self-help books on alchoholism, and hit it off instantly. Many a date was had at the local bar, or the AA meeting group, or at each other’s workplaces. They made each other happy for almost three entire months.
And then they broke up.
“GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!” Alice screamed, the top of her lungs bursting out of her chest. No, literally, they actually burst out of her chest. But only the top, so that it was incredibly painful, but not actually life threatening besides the potential for loss of blood.
“I have to save you!” Fredrick shouted. But he died of a heart attack. What would happen now?
I, Thedude3445, had to come down and save these poor young drunken fools from their stupid stupor, their witless wasting, their gnostic gnashing…. I had to do CPR!!!!!!!!!
Breathe…
Breathe….
“liwehliehilehlhiqeylhi/qelhqelqer.ue” said Lord Wynax, ruler of the Galaxy Next To Yours Besides the Andromeda Galaxy, called in more colloquial circles the Stupid Butt Galaxy. I leered at him for interjecting during my beautiful scene as I did CPR on both Fredrick and Alice, bringing them back to life. I would have better described it had he not done so.
Sigh. Will I ever be able to do something that actually matters in the grand scheme of things? I mean, I know I’ve done so many millions of amazing things, like being the greatest person ever aside from Savior of the Dreaming World WhiteKnight, but does it matter? We’re all just constructs in some dumb MMO that has a population ranging in the trillions for no reason at all.
You know, this story was originally supposed to be a really silly thing about Fredrick trying to get revenge for Alice dumping him, and Alice trying to further spite Fredrick, and then their conflict escalating to the point that they literally launched nuclear warheads at each other. But that didn’t happen, because of some weird glitch in their coding or something. Something… Changed, within them. I’ve heard of something like this; I will need to investigate.
However, there is something else that takes further precedence. My good friend and fellow Moderator, the aforementioned WhiteKnight, is apparently having what he says is his birthday tomorrow, though I’m not sure for certain whether or not it actually is. I will have to see for myself how the day plays out….

TO BE CONTINUED….

013B – Breaking Noon: Part Two

Continued from here: https://365storychallenge.wordpress.com/2013/01/13/013a-breaking-noon-part-one/

 

Breaking Noon: Part Two

By Thedude3445

 

Trixie and I had made an impromptu picnic to eat for lunch. She made a couple turkey sandwiches, and I brought a bag of chips and some pop. We set up in the woods outside of town, and laid down on the dirt together, holding hands .

“Trixie,” I told her. “I just want you to know I’m all right.” She still looked quite distraught from yesterday’s events, and I needed to cheer her up.

“You are?” She asked with an uplifted tone.

“Yeah. I said some things that I wish I hadn’t, and I apologize greatly for that.”

“You had every right, Josh.”

“No, I didn’t. I should have trusted you, and because I didn’t, I almost destroyed our entire relationship.”

“To be honest, I wasn’t sure how much longer it would last, anyway.”

“I was actually almost going to… Uhh… Yeah.”

“Wait, what?” Trixie raised an eyebrow. “What were you going to do?”

“I was going to propose to you. I know I’m only sixteen, and you’re only seventeen, but I did feel like I could spend the rest of my life with you.”

“Oh, that’s so sweet. I would have laughed at you, but it’s still sweet.”

“And I still would have done it today if I hadn’t unlocked my soul.”

“I know you would have. But I also knew you would unlock your soul, anyway.”

“Trixie, you couldn’t have been totally certain about that. Even Satan isn’t omniscient. Only God can do that.”Trixie sat up at this, and let go of my hand. This statement obviously ticked her off.

“Oh, shut it,” she rebuked. “Who cares about God when I have all the powers I need right here on Earth? That guy can’t even get his followers to act right; I can just mind control mine.”

“I certainly can’t argue with those tactics. Deception really is your strong suit, though.”

“You would know,” she laughed.

“Oh yes I would. The fact that I still love you today is a testament to that.”

“The fact you’re still alive today is a testament to that, too.”

“Oh yes. Without that conversation in the woods, I probably wouldn’t have trained so hard, and all those monsters would still be out there, which definitely wouldn’t have helped your plans, would it?”

“I could have always found another way. As long as I could purge the world of their powers, humanity stands no chance when we rise to power.”

“You could have just told me, you know. I would have gone along with it.”

“That wasn’t a guarantee at the time. For all I know, my judgment could have been wrong. I will admit it’s been wrong before.”

“Well, looks like you’ve got the right man, Trixie.”

“More than you can possibly imagine.” We locked lips, and I held her cheek. Her hand went around my back.

When we broke off, I asked the penultimate question. “So, now that you have my soul, can we…?”

“Yes we can.” No sooner than she said that did I throw off my shirt and begin stripping. “I’ve always wondered what it would be like with the Antichrist, you know.”

“You’ll know soon enough, Satan.” And she did.